J (nefertlrl) wrote,
J
nefertlrl

I'm So Excited, I'm So Scared!

I actually said that this morning!  Outloud!  Without even thinking!  haha Anyhow, the above statement was said in response to my getting a call from one of the Johns at bizSanDiego, letting me know that I got the internship I interviewed for last week.  I totally did not expect to get it after I didn't hear back from them by the time they said I should.  But lo and behold, at 9:45 this morning my phone rang with the good news.  I really am so excited!  And also, a little scared.  Mainly because its a new step in my life; its a new job (which I haven't had in three years!) and its actually something I really want to do with my life.  What if I come to find that I am not as good at what I plan on doing for the rest of my life as I think?  I fancy myself an alright writer and corrector of spelling/grammar, but what if?  Eh, I think I will be alright...but there is always a little "what if" involved in every new endeavor; otherwise, people would just be new endeavoring all over the place, right?  Right.  I am breaking out of the mold of my current life and starting a very new one.  There is a lot of change taking place next week:  my first quarter at UCSD, a new job/internship, healthier eating...and I am sure more will follow.  Change tends to happen in lumps in my life.  I still have an interview with another internship tomorrow: a paid internship.  The company itself, I must admit, is less appealing than working for a magazine, but the fact that it is paid is definitely more appealing that not getting paid.  Oh, dilemmas.  In the interview with bizSanDiego, they mentioned that I would probably only be in about once a week since their office is small, and they wouldn't really have anywhere to "put" me.  This is actually a good thing, since I would still need to keep my job at Kreiss.  Gotta make those ends.  With the internship I am interviewing for tomorrow, I believe I would need to quit working at Kreiss as they want someone in their office at least 15 hours a week.  I guess in the end, its all going to come down to how much the paid internship wants to shell out.  If its not much, then its a no go.  If its a decent wage, then, well...we'll see.  Its also in Carlsbad, so gas is a factor, too.  This is all even assuming that I have a choice; I have no job offer from tomorrow's interview at this point, so it may not even come into play in the long run.  But I suppose its not a bad idea to weigh the options early...
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